30 Sober Tips (Part 2)
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This is part two of a series. If you haven’t read part one, go here.
Write down all your convincers: problems you can tie back to drinking and moments where you lost control. Our convincers are what bring us to our day one and they’re what keep us going.
Find a support community. They say connection is the opposite of addiction and community is how you get there. Great communities include: Sober Mom Squad, AA, This Naked Mind, The Luckiest Club.
Get out of your usual environment. If 5 p.m. is your witching hour, make sure you are somewhere far far away from alcohol at that time. Take a hike, do your grocery shopping, or go to a coffee shop. Breaking up old routines are how we form new habits.
“Sunday scaries” are something most of us have felt, especially those of us who overindulged over the weekend. The feeling in the pit of your stomach and the anxiety/dread of knowing that the partying is over and you have to go back to work tomorrow. There’s a beautiful quote that says “Amazing how we can light tomorrow with today” (Elizabeth Barrett Browning). Think about how not drinking today empowers you to have a better day tomorrow.
The RAIN acronym is a powerful way to defuse painful or triggering emotions.
Recognize what is happening
Allow the experience. Don’t push back on it.
Investigate with curiosity and without judgement.
Nurture with self-compassion.
This powerful technique comes from mediation guru Tara Brach. When you recognize a negative emotion and you say teh name of that emotion out loud, you can completely defuse its power.
Try the Pregnancy Principle (credit to Laura McKowen). When a woman is pregnant, its probably the only time she allows herself to be unapologetically selfish. She can say no to things that don’t serve her. She gets to really listen to her body. She gets a free pass to do whatever she needs to do to take care of herself. Use the pregnancy principle in your early sobriety. Basically? Fuck everyone and everything else… for a little while, at least.
Write down a pro/con list. What do you have to gain from your drinking and what do you have to lose. Sometimes writing things down shows us a perspective and big picture that we wouldn’t otherwise see.
Meditation can help fight addiction. YES! Studies show that the benefits for people in treatment for alcohol use disorder include reducing cravings and use (source: Mayo Clinic). Try a meditation practice today. I use Calm but I also love Insight Timer and Headspace.
Author Gretchen Rubin says there’s two types of people in this world: moderators and abstainers. And for abstainers it’s just easier to abstain because moderating will never be it. But there’s hope. By having that all or nothing energy, you can channel it. Channel it into healthy things: go all in on a project or a goal. My all-or-nothing personality is what makes a marathon runner! Some of the biggest game changers on this planet have all or nothing personalities.
The Tinkerbell Effect is named after Tinkerbell from Peter Pan because she is revived from near death because the audience believes in her. Apply this to your sober goal. For example, if you are trying to get to 30 days sober, use a ‘what if’ statement. “What if I can reach 30 days of sobriety?” Think about it as if you’re already there — 30 days sober. What does it look like? Feel like? What books are you reading, how are you spending your time? Now go do exactly that!
Stay tuned for Part 3 next week! If you want all of these tips on video, head on over to my Tiktok and follow me there!
Any of these tips new to you? What’s your favorite?