Alcohol is not Required to have a Good Time
I attended a kids birthday party for someone in my son's pre-kindergarten class. At a trampoline park, it was every bit the chaos you would expect with 20 five years old running around and literally bouncing off the walls.
The host mom started to coyly pass out drinks to the parents amidst the chaos. It looked like orange juice but she was giving winks and head nods that this was just for the moms and dads. Having quit drinking a while back, I declined but in years past I would have made a beeline to her the second I heard the words "mommy juice."
In the past, the idea of alcohol at a kids birthday party never made me think twice. Why can't parents have fun at their kid's parties? After all, we are doing all the work and it's as much a celebration for us as it is for them. It wasn't until three years ago, when I quit drinking for good, did I realize alcohol has infused itself into everything. It's at every party. Every picnic. Every social gathering has a wine bar or keg and a line going halfway down the block of people eager to partake.
And it makes me wonder, what kind of message does this send our kids? That alcohol is critical to a good time? That a party isn't complete without booze? Maybe. And as someone who realizes I have a toxic relationship with alcohol, that is absolutely the wrong message I want my kids to grow up on.
Anyway, back to the birthday party. Do you see where this is all going? The host mom eventually moved on to other things and left the drinks -- unlabeled but these kid were five anyway so reading wasn't exactly proficient -- on a table by the cake. At least one kid got his hands on a cup unnoticed by anyone until it was too late. And that poor little kid probably was sick for the rest of the day.
I'm not judging. I'm guilty, too. I remember serving beer (to the adults, obvs) at my son's third birthday and we all had a blast. But would we have had a great time minus the booze? Of course. And maybe we would be sending a better message to our kids that alcohol is not central to a good time or celebration.
I know I struggle with addiction, and I know it's something that my family has struggled with for generations. I would be ignorant to think my kids won't face similar issues and my only hope in life to to prepare them as best I can. Not with ignorance but with knowledge, and tools.
Alcohol is not essential to have a good time -- let's normalize social events that are alcohol free. Celebration is not interchangeable with champagne. Life and experiences are not enhanced with alcohol, and we need to change this narrative for ourselves. For our kids.
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