Consider Therapy As A Spectrum
I have found one of the best times for me to talk, and in some ways one of the worst times, is during my runs with my sister-in-law. Whether it’s the fresh air doing a number on me or all the blood pumping, my usually very thick filter disappears completely.
I am my most honest self during these runs and sometimes I’m at my ugliest too. Not physically, though I look pretty gnarly in that realm, but it turns out my stream of consciousness can sound pretty damn selfish.
And think about it. How often do we talk without our filter? For me, never. Even my own thoughts are filtered to make myself feel better about what I’m thinking.
But get me winded and breathless and I don’t have the energy or time to do a preview of what I’m about to say. My emotions just come spewing out and they’re ugly and raw and self centered. I get home from these runs and I wonder, how bad must that have sounded? Or, why did I have to go there? I feel like at the end of each run I need to offset this time together by saying “I hope you know we’re just venting here.” And we do a little pinky promise that what was said on the run stays on the run.
But I always feel so much better after the run. And I’m finally starting to realize it’s not just because of the exercise. There’s something so therapeutic with speaking candidly and letting our guard down.
People advocate for therapy in the traditional sense, i.e. meeting with a professional. And I do too — I think therapy is a powerful tool. But therapy isn’t always available, it can be very expensive, and finding the right therapist can be really really hard.
If we have people in our life who we trust without question, someone we can speak to without a filter and not have to worry about condemnation or being backstabbed, then I would encourage us to consider looking at therapy on a spectrum.
I think there is one side of the spectrum where we can receive therapeutic benefits through things like meditation, exercise, or reading a self-help book. Then on the other end is meeting with a licensed professional.
In the middle, let’s consider the benefits of late night chats with our best friends, text threads where you you can be deliriously honest, and yes… therapy runs with people you can talk to with no filter.
So the next time you read about the benefits of therapy, don’t feel frustrated or angry if you don’t have the means or resources to access certain tools others have.
Think of therapy on a spectrum and remember that there are so many benefits in different ways to think outside the box. Honestly, sometimes I get more out of a frank chat with a friend than I ever do on the couch with a licensed stranger. And that is not a bad thing. Sometimes it’s just what the doctor ordered.