For obvious reasons, I’m on sober Instagram a lot. Social media has recognized my interests and passions over the years to curate the perfect algorithm of sobriety, parenting, some perimenopause, bookstagram, and feminism to boot to match exactly what I come to the platform to consume.
So it’s no surprise that this past week my feed was ablaze with 30-day sober coaching groups, challenges, and discounts. Start the new year right! Set yourself up for a successful dry January! Start 2024 with a break from alcohol!
It seems like everyone has a dry January challenge these days. Hell, it seems like everyone offers sober coaching, groups, and support. I imagine the demand is there or the uptick wouldn’t be quite so sharp, but it’s a bit unnerving when I see people with no other background in recovery than their own day count now offering support and even monetizing off others’ struggles.
If your only experience in sobriety and recovery is your own abstinence, you should not be coaching others. Free or paid.
Yes, I said it.
This year I got my recovery coaching certificate. I am now an IAPRC and SheRecovers certified coach. I guess that qualifies me to start offering these coaching groups and yet I still don’t feel ready to put other peoples’ lives in my hands in that way just yet. So I can’t even imagine the audacity to take peoples’ money, time and trust with flimsy promises based on little more than a singular experience of what worked for me.
So how do we discern a legitimate coaching experience from a scam? Because some of these groups actually are not only legit but reputable and life changing. It is critical to recognize and distinguish the difference.
Questions to ask before you sign up:
Are the leaders/coaches certified or licensed professionals? This seems like the most obvious question and yet I don’t think many people ask this up front. Take note: the number of followers a “sober coach” has on Instagram does not mean anything. Make sure they are currently certified (credentials and licenses may be expired). If you’re not sure, ask them. A certified coach or professional will be more than happy to share their experience. Lastly, google the person. Yes, google them. Some of the coaches/leaders might have less than stellar backgrounds than you realize but Google knows all.
Where is their course content/education coming from? This might take a bit more digging, but it’s worth it. Some of these coaches steal content from other places (ugh!) because — you guessed it — they’re not certified so they don’t have their own education to pull from. If you see content or resources that aren’t sourced but look or sound oddly familiar? Red flag.
What does this course or person want from you? Maybe it’s money, which for a good program might be worth it but not if it’s just plain Jane in her parent’s basement plagiarizing and pulling jargon from thin air. And if the program or challenge is free? Then they likely want your information to up-sell you, which is to be expected but some of these folks are actually in multi level marketing and will try to bait and switch you with essential oils or protein shakes. Run!
Who can vouch for the class/course? Random pull quotes from anonymous randos don’t count. A good coach or program will have references you can contact to answer questions and get their experience. I can see how this might feel like too much trouble for a free course, but if you are spending money on it I think it’s a worthwhile use of your time.
Is this course making too good to be true promises? A 30-day free course will probably not be enough to secure your “lifelong freedom from triggers.” In fact, good recovery tools include more than coaching. Therapy, a doctor’s care and meetings are all considered important tools for a all-encompassing recovery toolkit. Please don’t put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to sober coaching or anything else. Your sobriety will more likely thrive from an entire support system.
This is your experience. This is your LIFE. Your time is valuable and so is your money. Make sure you are committing yourself to a group/program/community that will take care of you and not squander your energy, stifle your potential and possibly even leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.
Sobriety is a gift. Reaching that place in your recovery where you can finally see the forest from the trees takes time, patience, and a lot of work. You deserve guidance from someone who knows what their doing because you matter. There are some amazing coaches and communities out there and they might be just what you need to take the life-changing step towards sobriety. Make sure the step is sturdy and on a firm foundation.
Have you bought my book, It’s Not About the Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture? Buy it here. And please leave a review on Amazon when you’re finished!
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