Five Things I've Learned Since I Quit Drinking
Almost two years ago I broke up with booze.
I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I was 38 years old, and many mornings I woke up feeling 98. The hangovers were brutal, but worse? Worse was the mom guilt as I tried to care for two little kids and all I wanted was for 5 pm to roll around so I could start mommy-wine-time.
Wine to kill time. Wine to dull the struggle. Wine to slow my brain down. Wine to quell the frustrations of home, work, the mental load, and parenting.
I've learned so much since I've quit drinking. I've learned how to feel big feelings again. I've also learned how to adjust socially to a culture that infuses alcohol into everything. But mostly? I've learned that life is easier and better without alcohol.
1. There is no good time to quit drinking. There will always be a holiday, a wedding or birthday, or a all-inclusive trip planned that you think, "Maybe after THAT, I'll quit."
That's just the wine witch trying to hold control over you. I quit right before Christmas and I remember thinking, "What about eggnog? What about New Years Eve?" But holidays don't just disappear when you quit booze, they just look a little different. Better, in fact. Christmas feels way more magical without a hangover. In short? I've learned that you never regret a day you don't drink.
2. I did lose friends and invites to social gatherings -- but it was the best kind of friendship filter I could have asked for. If you aren't sure who you're real friends are and who are just booze buddies, teetotal it and watch them drop like flies. You will find the true friends still standing and you will feel free again.
Yes, it stings for a brief moment in time. But it won't be long before you get all "Bye Felicia" and appreciate the lifelong friends who stand by you.
3. I'm amazed at how many people actually AREN'T drinking. Before, I never paid attention or I shied away from them, but now? They are everywhere. It's empowering and more often than not, I find myself drawn towards them.
4. Some people just doesn't get it. Probably a family member or a friend or colleague. They just don't understand why I would quit. "But you don't have a problem!" they would cry. "So you don't want to drink at all? Like NEVER again?"
While this used to make me feel defensive, or sometimes it make me question my decision to quit altogether, I now know that some people don't understand addiction or my story. Because the fact is... Yes, my drinking was a problem. And no, I will never drink again.
5. Every day I gain more confidence in my decision, as well as my life alcohol free. I feel stronger, happier, and healthier than I've ever felt. Recently, I went through a rough patch in my life and instead of being tempted by alcohol, I'm more grateful than ever not to have booze weighing me down when life is already hard enough.
My relationship with alcohol was toxic. Just like a crappy ex-boyfriend, I am so much better without it. Yes, I have random triggers than make me miss bits and pieces (just like the crappy ex, right?).
But when I look at the big picture, I love this life. Sober is better for me.