I've Got 99 Problems but Alcohol Ain't One
On LIFE, the dysregulation of parenthood, and bath caddies
If you find value in these emails, I hope you will consider upgrading your subscription. Paid subscriptions are how I’m able to develop fresh content each month. Paid subscribers will get bonus content each week.
I’m multitasking this post as I watch my son play The Game of LIFE with his Minecraft figurines in the bathroom between getting sick, because — parenting. If I stopped writing when life got complicated, a) I would never do any writing and b) I would never have anything good to write about.
Sober living doesn’t mean problem free. Sometimes it means only one less problem. Other times, when alcohol is creating multiple problems (mental health, physical health, relationships, etc.), sober living helps solve a lot of problems. Regardless, I will choose at least one less problem in my life every day, over the way I used to live. No question.
It reminds me of the book 10% Happier. I remember reading that book title once and thinking that was the lamest title. Who wants to be 10% happier? And then it clicked.
In this same vein, I’m also re-reading Atomic Habits, which drills it down even more. Making tiny changes adds up. And faster than you’d think. Which means if you want to get sober, and you are reading this newsletter and you started following a few sober accounts — but you haven’t fully committed yourself to stop drinking yet? Well, your atomic habits are adding up.
James Clear describes it like an ice cube. If you are slowly raising the temperature up by one degree, you’ll still have an ice cube — til you reach 32 degrees. And then all those tiny adjustments lead to massive change. You didn’t see it at 30 degrees. Or 31. But they were all building up. Every degree counted. Every change helped.
What small changes are you making towards big goals?
Break Time for Me
I’m in a parenting class right now where we are working a lot on understanding our triggers. I had an epiphany that I’m a highly sensitive person, which is why the overstimulation of noise and mess at home makes me feel so anxious and dysregulated all the time (eureka!)
Since I can’t always quiet my kids and I also can’t always keep the house perfectly clean, I need to make adjustments to how I show up so I don’t constantly feel overwhelmed. And yes, now I better understand how and why I was using alcohol to self-medicate in early motherhood.
I bought some noise cancelling headphones and a bath caddy. One is to help me quell the constant chatter, and the other is just an excuse to take more baths. I don’t want to brag but I tried these two things out together yesterday and for about five minutes I imagined myself at a spa retreat. So, yeah…
I’m going to get back to LIFE, now. No pun intended. Commit yourself to incorporating one atomic habit into your life today.
You deserve to feel better. Your kids deserve a happier parent. And we all deserve a break.