Our Kids? They're Listening

They Hear What You Say About Alcohol

Our kids are listening.

They hear you talk about what you really think about their school teacher.

They know what you say about their aunt when you leave the family gathering.

They know what you think about someone who looks or acts differently because they heard the way you giggled or sneered about that person in the grocery store.

You can read all the books on kindness to them. You can talk their ear off on the value of kindness. But when they hear you judge and shame, gossip or ridicule, you’re normalizing it for them. You are teaching them that it is OK.

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Kids don’t learn how to tease or bully in a vacuum. Gossip, disrespect or cruelty don’t come naturally. They are learned behaviors. And many of them learn it in their very own home.

Because our kids are listening.

They hear what you say about alcohol.

They know you “need some wine” every time the clock hits 5 p.m. or the jokes you make about alcohol being required to deal with your in-laws.

They see the way you covet it, prioritize it, embed it in every activity.

And they hear what you say about people who don’t. How you “don’t trust anyone who doesn’t drink.” The way you mock the mocktail menu or your favorite joke when someone hands you a coffee about needing something stronger.

You can establish all the rules around underage drinking in your home. You can share stories about Aunt Jenny with the drinking problem. But when they hear you bow down to it like a golden calf, and set the precedent that alcohol is required to not only have a good time, but to make it worth your time in the first place? You’re normalizing our heavy drinking culture. You are teaching them alcohol overconsumption and misuse is okay. Necessary even.

Kids don’t start drinking in a vacuum. Underage drinking is not a required experience for a happy adolescence. It’s often a learned behavior heavily influenced by environment. The conversations parents start with their kids around alcohol/drugs are shown to significantly affect the age a child has their first drink. But it’s also important to consider the impact of our words in our homes, regardless of who we’re talking to.

Because are children are listening.

Have you bought my book, It’s Not About the Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture? Buy it here. And please leave a review on Amazon when you’re finished!

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