Praying to the Snow Gods

Taking a Writing Break Til My Voice Returns

This year, in preparation for winter, I got a fancy snowblower for our driveway. Although it was a hefty investment, I assured myself that the hours it would save us from shoveling the driveway would make it well worth it.

While we had a few light flurries this winter, the snow on our driveway never stuck. The snow blower sits in our garage as new as the day we unboxed it, albeit with a gentle coating of dust, and I can’t help but think about where that money could have gone instead.

Things rarely go as planned. Hindsight loves a good plan to laugh at. And the universe reminds me yet again that I might have the money, the plan, even the energy… but I can’t snow plow if it doesn’t snow.

Writing used to flow out of me like a spring river after a heavy snow season. The words would visit me faster than I could write them down, and I found myself pausing conversations midway through sentences or pulling over my car to collect them into my notes app before they left as fast as they arrived.

But this season of creativity feels as dry and dilapidated as our terrible snow season here in the Sierra Nevadas. Life is heavy, and a lot of the challenges I face are intimately tied to people I love whose stories aren’t mine to tell.

I need to take a step back from my writing. My heart tells me it’s time to slow down, and my spirit feels frenzied, frail, and remarkably speechless. For the first time in a long time, I have nothing to say.

I’ve paused all paid subscriptions for now, and I will keep this space for occasional updates or when my voice comes back with a surprise visit. I have also been working on something really special for the last year, and I cannot wait to share more with you when the time comes. You can still find me on Instagram posting short, candid thoughts as they come to me.

Words will find their way back to me. It will snow again, and one day, that shiny snowblower will come out of hiding and do what it was made to do. But spring is here and I’m not holding my breath for a freak April or May blizzard. My family needs my attention, not me praying to the snow gods and hee-hawing over a blank computer screen. I’ve never been one to waste time, and I refuse to waste yours.

Finally, if my recovery story and book have helped you, please leave a review on Amazon (even if you didn’t buy my book there!) It helps me immensely, and it means so much. Click here.