Reasons Not to Drink on Vacation
Can you really enjoy a vacation without booze? Abso-virgin-lutely
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“I just can’t imagine a vacation without alcohol.”
If the definition of a trigger is something that causes a strong emotional reaction, then vacations are the ultimate trigger for someone with a drinking problem.
We tie drinking to vacation the same way we associate birthday cakes with birthdays. Peanut butter and jelly. Taylor Swift and cats. They just go together.
What’s a vacation without a selfie holding a tropical drink? What’s a trip to Mexico without a margarita? A sporting event without beer? France without champagne?
‘Can we even have the full experience of a vacation without drinking?’ Someone asked this in a recent recovery meeting and I knew exactly what she meant. Drinking is so ingrained in everything we do, and doing something ourselves repeatedly only further connects our brainwaves to the experience.
I’ll never forget my first camping experience sober and thinking, “Oh my God! How will I possibly do this?” My first time on a boat sober felt the same way.
But I did do it. And I’ve done it dozens of times since. I’ve also attended weddings sober, dance parties, concerts, and networking events with open bars. And it took some time, but I quickly realized I lose nothing in my experiences when I abstain from alcohol. Absolutely nothing.
In the same way someone on a vacation to Cuba misses absolutely nothing if they don’t smoke a Cuban cigar. In the same way a person doesn’t miss out on their French experience if they don’t stick their tongue down someone’s throat a la French kiss.
The pairing of alcohol and vacations are contrived through regularly trafficked neuro pathways. And if you believe in the growth mindset, you know that these same pathways can and will rewire as you change your life.
I miss nothing by not drinking on my vacations. In fact, I still drink! I just add a “virgin” to my order and instead of ordering three more, I feel satisfied after one. (I also save a couple hundred dollars in bar tabs).
Today as I ordered my virgin colada, the guy next to me ordered a double Jack Daniels and downed it right down before walking off. I shuddered, wondering what he hoped the alcohol would achieve. Did he just hear some horrible news? Was he trying to cope with a co-parenting vacation with the mother of his child? Or maybe he was simply trying to stave off the shakes. I felt zero judgment for that person. Only empathy. Only gratitude that I no longer follow road signs that promise “Thru Way” but lead to dead ends.
I saw another person in a lounge chair near me order drink after drink from the pool waiter. Every time the waiter walked by he did the nod, wave and point at his drink cup. Again, no judgment. Only recognition. I’ve called over a thousand waiters to appease my need for just one more. I do not miss those days of trying to chase a buzz in an effort to more fully “vacation.” I don’t miss the self-imposed hell of wanting to relax but perpetually masterminding my next drink.
I can’t even imagine how much I missed when I lived in that stormy ocean of never enough and way too much. I missed hundreds of moments, countless breaths. I missed sensation, awareness and appreciation.
And that’s just it.
The only time we are truly missing anything on vacation is when we drink. Because when we abstain, what do we actually miss? Hangovers, bar tabs, regrets, fuzzy memories, and the constant pursuit of our next drink…
If that’s what I’m missing on vacation sober, I will gladly raise a glass to sticking with my virgin alternatives. One pina colada, please… hold the liquor, but hang onto every moment.
My book, It’s Not About the Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture, is now available for pre-order here.
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