Tuaca In My Coffee

And Other "Tricks" For Ruining The Holidays

The holiday season seems like the worst time of year to quit drinking alcohol, and yet that is exactly what I did a week before Christmas seven years ago.

We were attending 1-2 holiday parties a week that year, and that third weekend before Christmas, we managed to fit in three.

I was over-drinking at all of them, and the weight of it all felt like too much. What was a mom of two little kids to do? I remember expressing this exact predicament to a couple at one party, complaining about all the parties and even declaring that the hangovers had gotten so bad that I often spent my mornings nursing them with Gatorade and Advil.

"Nah!" The gentleman challenged me. "Waste of time. You're doing it all wrong." He laughed, and his wife said, "That's what Tuaca in your coffee is for."

I laughed, and we moved on to other subjects. But that conversation stuck with me. Lo and behold, the next morning, my head was pounding and I was feeling miserable while my kids fought about something, and I remembered the bottle of Tuaca we'd received for my husband's birthday a few weeks back. I laced my coffee with Tuaca that morning, and I was pretty amazed at how quickly I felt back to normal.

In the past, day drinking was a big "no" on my rules in avoiding problematic drinking, but I thought to myself if my friends were all doing it -- and they seemed like normal, successful people, I told myself it must be OK.

I attended two more parties that weekend, and on Monday, I had heart palpitations and broke into a cold sweat out at work. I feared something horrible was happening to me and vowed to stop drinking. And I quit. I quit and never looked back.

I think about that conversation I had with that couple, though. I think about how the solution to my hangovers and overdrinking was a simple fix of drinking in the morning.

Not cutting down overall.
Not skipping alcohol at one of the parties.

And it reminds me why stopping drinking is so damn hard.

As logical as it might seem at a 30,000-foot level, when you are surrounded by drinking and drinkers and especially when you're drinking -- your head's fuzzy, and logic goes out the window -- you get dumb. You look dumb, you sound dumb, you feel dumb... because alcohol makes us dumb.

After years of living alcohol-free, I can see the trap we build for ourselves. We convince ourselves and each other that over-drinking is festive. That hangovers are a sign of a good time. That even Santa has a beer belly. But if you can step away from the commercials of elves drinking beer, of the memes that pair wine to Christmas cookies, and rum-infused egg nog at 10 a.m. because "fa la la" you will see what I see... a society fueled by booze.

We are drinking ourselves silly because we convince each other it’s OK. We feed off the dogma of wine being heart-healthy and beer promoting gut health because it's what we want to hear when the truth (alcohol is a Group 1 Carcinogen. I kid you not) is far more sobering.

When my kids grow up, I want them to remember Christmas lights and family cheer. Snow days and tree ornaments. Baby Jesus and the meaning of Christmas. Not mom slumped over on the couch with a nasty hangover. Or worse, secretly sipping Tuaca-laced coffee to feel halfway human.

And they will. My kids are still young; they will remember me sober, and I'm grateful they will grow up with a sober mom. But my heart breaks for all the people we've lost to alcohol addiction. Good, good people who died from this disease, or through drunk driving, or all the other ways alcohol plays into more than 3 million deaths a year.

My dad passed away a few years ago. He was one of every eight Americans who struggled with alcohol addiction. He lost his fight with alcohol, but I feel him in me still. His hope that I can live in a way he couldn't. That I can say no, and live life on my terms. This Christmas, and every Christmas, I will stay sober. For my dad. For my kids. And above all, for me.

My Christmas wish for you this year. Please stay safe. Please don't drink and drive. And if you are questioning your relationship with alcohol, I encourage you to try going dry this season and see where it leads. A hangover-free Christmas sounds like a pretty magical day to me.

Have you bought my book, It’s Not About the Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture? Buy it here. And please leave a review on Amazon when you’re finished!

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