If you find value in these emails, I hope you will consider becoming a paid subscriber. Paid subscriptions are how I’m able to develop fresh content each month. Paid subscribers received this email last week AND a bonus behind the scenes video.
This will be my fifth sober summer. Believe it or not, it’s amazing and I look forward to it more each year.
My first sober summer was a season of many firsts.
First sober camping trip.
First sober wedding.
First sober boat ride.
First sober beach day.
The triggers were BRUTAL. But they didn’t have to be. They were hard because I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t have my mocktails ready. I didn’t tell anyone I needed extra support to stay the course or that I was really scared. I didn’t have my sober toolkit on standby.
But you can be sure that after that first sober summer I learned my lesson. I would rather be over prepared than under. I would rather over communicate my needs than burn myself out. So if you preparing for your sober summer, here’s what you should know.
Have an accountability partner. I don’t care who it is as long as you trust them. If you aren’t telling anyone yet, you can tell me! Or find a sponsor, or a sober sis (through Sober Mom Squad). They don’t have to be on your same journey but they do need to honor your choices and support you.
Prepare your sober toolkit. Bring your favorite non-alcoholic drinks or dessert. Set up fun rewards. Use a sober app to motivate and keep you accountable. I’m using Sober Buddy right now and I love the challenges and tips!
Do what you have to do. Need to skip the beach bonfire? Do it. Need to take a break on the camping trip for some down time? Make it happen. Literally walk away from triggers. Will people think you’re being rude? Whatever! I give you permission to do what you have to do to.
Distractions are your friend. Look, I know a lot of people say sobriety is about feeling all your feelings again (I say it too), but in early sobriety sometimes it’s just about getting through something. So distract yourself with a mystery novel or amazing podcast, put on a favorite playlist, play all the Candy Crush you need to. These early days are about not drinking, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself about anything else.
Do it scared (if you feel ready), but start small. Exposure Therapy means slowly introducing new things or experiences that you are afraid of, or in this case, triggered by. That means if you have to leave the beach after 20 minutes, try to stay longer the next time. It gets easier each time! I promise.
The best news is this first sober summer can be your last “first” sober summer. Next year it will be easier, and you will find new, beautiful ways to thrive that don’t include drinking.
I never want to wake up on a camping trip hungover again. I never want to make an ass out of myself at a wedding ever again. And I never want to put alcohol before making memories with my kids ever again. So I will have a sober summer.
I hope you will join me.
(In the comments, tell me what you are most looking forward to or worried about this summer)