30 Sober Tips (Part 3)
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I’m in sunny Florida this week listening to the waves crash along the shore as I write this post. Vacation looks so different sober. It feels funny sometimes to sit at a dinner table with 15 people and be the only person declining alcohol.
Last night, someone asked if I drink at all and I said, “I do not. I used to but now I’m almost five years sober!” And that was that. No pressure, no questions, no awkwardness.
It’s not always this easy. Sometimes people get nosy, or are rude. Some people are put off by our choice, and you can see it in their expression. At the end of the day, its their problem, not ours. We don’t owe anyone an explanation.
If you haven’t read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series, please check them out! Otherwise, let’s wrap this up with the last ten tips.
An accountability partner will vastly increase your chances of success. Talk to someone about your drinking concerns (Ex. therapist, partner, mentor, friend, spiritual guide, sober sister). Tell them about your goals. It’s awesome if they’re sober too, but not necessary. Choose someone who will be respectful and kind with your choices, but will also call you out on BS. An accountability partner might be just what you need to achieve your dreams.
Give yourself permission to rest. It’s no coincidence that many Type A personalities wind up in addiction/recovery. When we’re not getting burnt out at work or home, we are drinking to numb ourselves out. We also live in a very hustle 24/7 culture. So give yourself permission to rest and listen to your body.
HALT. HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. This model will help you see when you are most vulnerable to drinking. When you feel one of these feelings the goal is to act quickly, and some of these feelings you can take preventative measures to avoid altogether!
If sober podcasts aren’t part of your sober toolkit you need to jump on this right now. Podcasts are free and easily accessible. They were an important part of my early sobriety. My favorite is Sober Powered. What’s yours?
Recovery is especially important on the really hard days. If you feel like numbing out when life gets hard (and you will), remember that when you allow yourself to process the hard emotions, you get through to the other side sooner. Numbing out just delays the pain for a later date.
In running we have a saying: The first mile is a liar. I just did a long run and if I listened to myself and my brain that first mile, i would have headed straight for my couch. The same goes for sobriety. The first “mile” is the hardest. Early sobriety is hard but it gets easier. You will find your groove.
In recovery meetings, one of the first things we talk about is “what is your why?” Why do you need to quit drinking? Why do you want to be sober? What do you have to gain? Write it down. It’s called your ‘why’ list, and you should keep it everywhere you go. It’s basically your sobriety mission statement.
The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique is perfect the next time you feel triggered. Take some deep breaths. Think about 5 things you can see right now, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. Such a simple, effective grounding technique, even when you’re feeling extremely triggered. Keep in mind triggers only last 20 minutes… you can do this.
I think where a lot of us get caught up in the ‘being of service’ conversation, is it sounds like it’s gonna take a lot of time. Giving back can be quite simple. Picking up litter on the street, checking in on an elderly neighbor, or buying coffee for the person behind you. Service work is very important in recovery because addiction is a very self-centered disease. Service is the opposite. It’s selfless. And in early sobriety, it is all about shaking things up.
Celebrate! Celebrate the big and little things. Sobriety is NOT deprivation….. it is LIBERATION. Alcohol and celebration are not synonymous, or at least they don’t have to be. Celebrate alcohol free, ethanol-free, blackout and regret free. Being sober in an alcohol obsessed world is amazing and it’s worth celebrating.
Did you like this series? Please share!
What’s your favorite sober tip?
I am on vacation right now and this is so fitting and relatable! Thank you for these tips!